The "Shores of Aphrodite" and the "Baths of Venus" Cyprus Part 2

It’s December 24 Christmas eve and some of us are feeling poorly from the after affects of the Monk’s brandy (not me) I’m told it is NOT a religious experience!

Governor's Head rocky beach

 In the mid afternoon and Johnathan takes us on a short car drive to Governor’s Head Beach...a lovely place of rocky shore where you can see a power plant in the distance....remind you of anything....Port Dover of course with Nanticoke yonder. Governors Head in better weather is a very popular place to go for the locals...there’s lots of fish restaurants there.....we go for a walk along the beautiful  shore. Back in the car....Kim remembered that we were out of vodka...and that would never do...since tomorrow was Christmas...so we stopped into a little general store in our village area....the guy had everything in there...Johnathan even bought some lamb chops...back home for another lovely home cooked meal....but charitably no Monk’s Brandy.

Yacht Club in Limissol, Cyprus   (Christmas day)

Christmas Day...everyone’s happy we exchange gifts as it were...Johnathan gave us each a beautiful Egyptian scarf.....he got some Egyptian plates and a Friday 13^th T-shirt. He had to go friends for a Christmas celebration...Kim and I went off to the city for a Christmas dinner at a restaurant. We stopped by the local marina on the way...some impressive boats....and found a little beach side British Pub style restaurant where we had something to eat. It was very warm out....and dry as well...which I guess is unusual for these parts. Anyway nothing special a good day was had by all. I like Christmas in a foreign land.

Boxing Day...and Johnny boy has big plans....we take off early in the morning and head down the coast to the west....we stop off at the pebble beach of Petra Touromiou....where it is believed the Goddess “Venus” ascended from a scallop and walked out of the sea....it was funky little place there was a tunnel under the hiway so you could get to the beach and little tourist store were you could get junk.

Petra Touromio...where Venus..the Goddess of love beauty ,sex ,fertility ,prosperity and victory, is said to have come ashore...... that's Kim coming out of the water on the beach....the resemblance is remarkable don't you think?

Brent skipping stones into the ocean at the "Shores of Aphrodite"

Off we go to Pathos a major local tourist city along the coast....there were quite a few people there strolling and eating....off again..through the British forces base...it’s big.

Shots of the tourist city of Pathos...boxing day. Note the "Nemo" kind of boat in the centre of the picture...I think you could take it out for a ride during busier times.

The Baths of Aphrodite....(she must have been a dirty little thing!)

To the Baths of Aphrodite we took a walk through the beautiful coastal hills over looking the town Latsi...the baths were merely a hollow in a small stone cavern were spring water gathered....I suppose you could have a bath there if you really wanted to. We had lunch in a restaurant in Latsi the food was respectable.

Kim and me in the heights above Latsi (in the background to the right) near the Baths of Aphrodite

While there..Johathan got a call from an old student of his from Syria he was expecting him to stop by the house late this afternoon on his way to Nicosia....and he was actually at the house now...Johnathan told him where to find the keys we had put in a plant container to let himself in. So we raced home...Kim says it was a hair raising drive along the coast...but I was asleep in the back seat..

Ammar Kim and Johnathan, Monagroulli, Cyprus

When we got there Ammar was in the house. He’s an interesting young fellow about 26 years old his father was Syrian...his mother English..no one it seems to have really wanted him...so he grew up in a bunch of different countries eventually ending up in England...where fortunately for him he is now a citizen. We had a nice meal and a really great conversation with him about the Middle East et al.....he returns to his home area every couple of years....He’s a Muslim but has no problem drinking booze and eating pork...in fact he says he hates Muslims...I can’t remember why.

So we’re up the next morning pretty bright and early we’re all going to Nicosia today....from there you can walk across the border to the Turkish section of the island. We had a massive breakfast of pasta and cheese and eggs and bacon all mixed up together and fried in a wok....hey you have to eat something!  No the thing is....a couple of nights previous to this I had made a pasta dinner and I always cook way too much .



Johnathan in the Kitchen doing something.

But having a big bowl of cooked pasta in the fridge  is not a bad thing....you can do anything with it in a hurry.  Johathan  saw the bowl in the fridge the next morning...and said why do we have all this cooked pasta in here...I told him....and he said “could we have it for breakfast?” I said I suppose we could....so he threw together a pasta breakfast that was massive and wholesome...and good. So pasta breakfasts became a staple. He said to me one day...Brent I want to thank  you for the pasta tip....keeping some in the fridge.....I said well I’d never seen it used for breakfast before...so I guess we’re even.

Our car.

Enough about food. Ammar has a little car he’s rented so he takes off...We jump in Johnathan’s rental... It’s only about a 45 minute drive to Nicosia .... off we go up the four lane motorway...and we’re there quickly... we park in a big pay parking lot. So then what you have to do is walk though the city to the border between Greece Cyprus....and Turkey Cyprus.

A  way station and hoel from ancient times....inside is a present day tourist trap.

On duty...A Canadian soldier on the border between Greek Cypriot and Turkish Cypriot, Cyprus.

It’s all on the up and up...it’s a divided city..so the border is kind of the middle...you walk up to a check point and show your passport to everbody..they do some stamping and then you’re in Turkish Nicosia. I can’t really say though that I’ve seen anything of Turkish Cyprus...this was just a day trip and this was a pretty serious Turkish tourist area....we walked around...bought a lot of food...because it was very cheap there..and had lunch which was okay....There were sandbagged areas with foreign UN troops manning them....and a no man’s land of empty buildings....so the problem is still pretty serious. We walked back across the border then drove home. It was a good day.

The village of Monagroulli or Mona gruesome as we jokingly called it .

The next day was Friday....and it was a big day....Johnathan had a planned a big party. Most of his elderly Brit friends from around the neighborhood were coming, there would be nine in all...and Johnathan  hadn’t been able to decide what he wanted to serve...so I said why not pasta we can get a bunch of chicken or sausage and just chop in up in a big tomato sauce....so he says okay...you can do that. So I’m stuck with making this massive amount of pasta sauce for nine people.....anyway it was easy..they all came over ..Johnathan who is the master of h’ordeurves made a lot of them ....so lots to eat and drink. Johnathan`s neighbor couple were coming over.....Peter..he`s into investments and such and has a scheme going to do with solar electricity.....the wife Diane  hangs out and helps with stuff in the viilage.

 

Peter and Diane...Johnathan's Brit neighbors.

 The other guests were an odd mixture of retired Brits who were pretty old  and had spent their careers in mid level industry....and   a couple of the guys were in pretty rough shape...one had a circulation issue with his foot and came in on crutches...the other guy who was just here visiting his daughter had been attacked by a knife wielding assailaint about ten years ago...in his house in London. So the arm was pretty much useless. He was an inventor and he came by it honestly because his dad was the guy invented sonar in the second world war. One guest was an old dike nurse who smoked cigarettes one after the other...her partner had just left her for good and she was kind of mournful. So that was it...we ate drank...got out the guitars and partied on...it was a good night.

So we kind of hung loose for a day I think Kim and Johnathan went shopping.....Johnathan`s place has a nice deck and it was a great place to sit and read for hours.

The ruins of the city Kourios (above)

Kim on the heights and fertile coastal plain and ocean way down there.


Brent orating in the amphitheatre at Kourios

 The next day Kim and I went off on our own down the coast to some great Greek ruins called Kourion the top of a very large rocky hill. It was the site of a very large city in ancient times....below is the most fertile land on the island and the city was also a fortress where the farmers could take refuge when the bad guys came in their boats....which happend quite often I take it.......the view was really nice and the ruins of been excavated very well and it was worth the trip.
We has lunch and a few beers in a little restaurant in a grove below the mountain.

The little restaurant below the mountain.

On the way home we decided to do a little exploring and drove past Monagroulli to a very little place called Agata about seven kilometers beyond....we`d been there before and wanted to come back. We stopped and went into the odd looking  drank a number of beers with the friendly locals including one guy who had grown up in the Cypriot community in New York...but had married a visiting Cypriot girl and had moved back to the island with her. When we got out of the little Taverna is was just going dusk...I'd had quite a few beers...but Johnathan says around here it dosen't really matter "just don't crash".
We pulled out onto the little street heading out of the village...and would you know it...right on my tail... cops in an suv with blue top light flashing...I really wasn't very concerned because I wasn't drunk...but still...I pulled over and the cop drove right on past. It turns out the cops drive around with their blue top light flashing all the time. Another wholesome day in Cyprus.

Next the road trip from hell

Johnathan's Cyprus

Over the Christmas break Kim and I went to Cyprus for a couple of  weeks. We had been wondering where to go.... for the break...Morocco came up...but that would have just been more Arabia so that was quickly dismissed. Then Ethiopia  and Mali and even Kenya...but they`re far away..kind of expensive and not terribly safe. So Kim says there`s a fellow in the English department who has a house in Cyprus....I`m just going to talk to him. She e-mailed only about two hours later saying this fellow...Johnathan has invited us to his house in Cyprus for as long as we want over the break. Do you think I should accept?....Oh yes I said this is a fine and generous offer and I can`t imagine when we might get another chance to go to Cyprus.

South coast of Cyprus....that's slowpoke Kim down there.

Cyprus has had a very dodgy past. It`s very close to the Turkish mainland. Copper deposits were discovered there many thousands of years ago....the bronze age was just beginning and everyone needed as much copper as they could get their hands on....so Cyprus became a very important place for a long time. It has survived three massive earthquakes that quite literally destroyed everything on the island. Richard the ``Lion Heart`` on his way Israel and the Crusade got blown off course and ended up there..where he ran into some kind of treachery and ended up conquering the island....after which it languished. But the English weren`t through with it yet....Cyprus for several hundred years was part of the Ottoman Empire..which was basically Turkey....after the first world war the victors were divying up the spoils....and by some slight of hand the British ended up with Cyprus....and it became a handy little place to have during the second world war. As well during the British mandate many thousands of Britons came down here to live....especially in retirement for it`s a lot cheaper than Europe (although that`s changed since it joined the European Economic Community) so even now it is a haven for retired British people who make up a surprisingly large part of the population...and there is a very large British Army-Naval base there. But when the British gave the Island up....it freed up the whole population...some of them Greeks and many of them Turks to even old scores...and a war broke out. Canada had hundreds of peace keeping troops there during the duration of the hostilities....and the feeling between the two populations is anything but friendly...so the island is roughly divided between Greek Cypriots and Turkish Cypriots. The Greek portion is reasonably well off....the Turkish side not so much. But it`s a lovely place.

Johnathan's House in Cyprus

So late on Friday December 21^st we landed a couple of hours late in Larnaca....a biggish city on the south coast. We had rented two cars so that took an extra hour at the airport...because the cars were miles away. We finally got on the highway about 10:30 at nite .....Johnathan leading the way...he had very strict instructions not to lose us. They drive on the opposite side there....I haven’t driven on the left side since Australia but I was going to drive and follow Johnathan. But somehow an insurance issue came up that I couldn’t drive....so Kim had to take over...thank goodness Johnathan’s house is only about 45 minutes away....he was kind .....he didn’t lose us and Kim did a fine job driving for the first time on the wrong side of the road......I mean.... I’m sure Kim has driven on the wrong side of the road before...but at least this time she was sober. Johnathan is an English....English teacher at the Cairo American College. He was born and kind of raised in India...where his dad was an urban planner or something. He received his education everywhere and has taught at international schools all his life. He’s about 54 years old and gay as can be and ain’t afraid to admit it......he’s a really good fellow. He built this house in a little village outside the city of Limmisol...it’s big and only about 20 minutes away...so you have everything you need close to hand...but you’re living in a little village. The house is big...has a pool is airy and nice. But he’s been renting it out for the past couple of years..and by the time we got there a few things were buggered. The heating didn’t work....and it  gets cool in Cyprus at night in the winter. They’d removed the cooking stove and dishwasher...and there were a few other minor issues. But we arrived in good form that night....we had brought some nice food....and of course we had hit duty free heavily and had lots of booze....so we drank quite a lot of it that night. Next morning I had a bit of headache but nothing serious...Kim’s still sleeping I get up and Johnathan is up raring to go because he has a lot to accomplish in a short period of time....most pressing????

Carrefour...a great big French owned grocery store....they're all around the world.

We need a cooking stove....and we have to go to Carrefour the big grocery store chain that seems to be all over the world....we have a lot of groceries to buy. So we leave Kim with her dreams and head into to town. Go to Carrefour and buy just a ton of food...because Christmas is only two days away...and guess who else is in the store.....everbody!!! We buy up hundreds of Euros of food....some we hadn’t seen for awhile because we’ve been in Eygpt. That done...the stove. This was kind of a special stove Johnathan wanted...he wanted gas burners...but an electric oven. I just thought oh shit...where are we going to find that. In fact they have have lots of them there....the big issue was that Johnathan wanted it delivered to the house that very day...two days before Christmas. We went from place to place trying to make a deal to get a stove delivered....we finally agreed on giving them a hundred Euros extra (about 130 dollars Canadian) to have it delivered that afternoon. Mission accomplished...we drove home. I had something to eat and hit the couch....Kim was out exploring the village.  The guys came about two hours later with the stove...I couldn’t believe it. After resting a bit Johnathan drove us down to the old port area in Limmisol...it’s kind of nice touristy area where artisans sell their stuff....home nice meal early to bed.

Typical little village road through the Cypriot mountains

Day two was a big campaign....we were going for a long drive to a monastery....that’s how Johnathan sold it to us. I said I would drive because I could use the practice...he said okay. We had a big breakfast and packed up a lunch and off we went. Me driving on the left side of the road...this in fact eventually turned out to be easy....but you really have to concentrate especially for the first couple of days. Down the motor way......it’s not that busy because there only about 700 thousand people who live on the island.. ...we shoot through the city....roundabouts galore.. then we started climbing a very twisty turny narrow mountain road.....I didn’t know anything about this! Johnathan says yes....we’re going way up into the mountain to visit the famous monestary there....you’ll like it and I want to pick up a few bottles of their famous brandy. But the driving is not easy....twists ...turns narrow paved road....cars coming around a curves and you can’t see them. Then rain...then fog....and then SNOW! We stopped into a couple of very nice quaint mountain villages had coffees...inspite of the driving it was good.

Brent at Kykos Monestary....The Brandy sales booth is off to the left behind me.

We get to the monestary and it’s big and old...the way monestaries usually are. Johathan buys several bottles of the Monk’s brandy...they make it there at the monastery..it’s not all that  cheap either. We have our nice lunch standing around the back of the car in a cool mist ..... then head on down through the mountains....take a few pictures in the snow....that in fact is quite a tourist attraction because so few people around these parts have even seen snow...big deal.

Kim and Johnathan in the snow.

Sikh and ye shall find. A Sikh tourist waits to buy a corn dog in the Cyprus mountains
Why not!

Note the fog...great for driving.

 We make a couple more tourist stops..then out onto the coast once again. We stop into another big grocery store and pick up a few things we missed the other day because Christmas is now only a day away. Back home to a nice supper cooked on the new stove...(local minced pork sausage mashed potatoes and cole slaw...mmmmmm pork!) Kim and Johnathan got stuck into the Monk’s brandy. I thought it tasted like the liquid left after you boil leather ...but they liked it...I retired with Johnathan singing opera in full throat. I don’t know about that Monk’s brandy.More soon....b

Visas Las Cairos......(Part 2)

Tahrir Square in quieter times.

In the previous installment you may recall Dana Walker and me have just finished our business at the Interior Ministry where you must go to get your visa extended....

So we walk out of the building and through a corner of Tahrir Square....it’s funny to be strolling through the place that has seen so much violence.

Dana’s on a mission....and since I don’t have anything else to do I tag along.

In 2006...Dana’s husband Craig got stationed here in Egypt.

Dana had to bring her three pre-teenaged kids over....the Canadian Government put them up in a hotel in downtown Egypt... not far from Tahrir Square.

Dana wanted to find that hotel today...so off we go...it was a nice walk...and we were asking people along the way where this hotel is.....and we’re zeroing in. There’s a detachment of young police ....obviously on a training  exercise in the street...there’s a sergeant telling them what to do....and the commanding officer off to the side. Dana walks up to the commanding officer and asks him where this hotel is....he says I don’t know but I’ll help you find it. Off they go into a store where the commanding officer asks the store keeper where the hotel is. He knows...it’s just around the corner.

Thank you so much commanding officer “shokrahn”  thank you.

I know I've been saying pretty detrimental things about how Egypt is being run...and it's all true....but the people for the most part are very friendly and helpful.

When I'm out and about... four or five times a day someone will say to me "Welcome to Egypt"!

It happens so often that now as my greeting to them...I say "Welcome to Eygpt"..it usually gets a laugh.

But I digress..

So we find this hotel...and it ain’t pretty...we have to go up a circa 1950’s elevator to the fifth floor and get out .....it’s dark and musty...and absolutely nothing like any hotel  you have seen before....but that’s where Dana and her three young kids ended up.

She wants to see a room....we go down kind of a dark Egyptian looking... winding hallway...to a room where there are three cots ....it’s not very nice...but it’s clean and well run...and honest....but you have to share the bathroom facilities.

The cost was about 15 dollars a night.

She thanked the woman and we went back to the elevator....I was thinking wow that whole experience must have been really tough on Dana and those kids.....Dana says to Walker who was about 12 or 13 at the time...do you remember that???....he said.......yeah it was fun!

Enough said....

I left them and went to the Nasser subway station....it was an uneventful ride home....but I knew I had to come back the next day...

It was  a dark and stormy night....

No I’m not kidding...I told you about Cairo only getting about an inch of rain a year....well that night it got about three quarters of an inch.....almost unheard of in these parts...

Sleepy ...wakey.....it’s 6:45 and now I’M the one on a mission.

I have to grab the metro...down to Tahrir into the Ministry of the Interior building and claim my visa.

It’s cold and all that rain overnite has changed the world into a quagmire.....totally.

Out the door.... hopping over big puddles ,tip toeing through mud...dodging the taxi’s coming by that  splash right through a puddles and you have to get out of the way.

Onto the metro platform.....but the deluge has caused as we used to say in the television industry......technical difficulties...no train for a long time....and when it comes...it is absolutely and irrevocably  crammed with humanity. I bullied and pushed and squeezed my way on...and found the tiniest little spot in a corner by the door and there I staked my claim. At each stop....no one got off the train.....instead more got on...I had three guys as close as any woman has ever been to me....coughing sneezing breathing... it was not pleasant.

There are nine stops to Tahrir ...25 minutes...and I counted every one.

When the doors opened at Sadat....where everybody is getting off...thousands of people spilled out onto the platform.

The women’s cars were filled to overflowing too.

I got up against the wall and waited for this wave of humanity to pas

Protest mural in Tahrir Square

When the crowd was gone....I made my way out into the cold and windy air of Tahrir Square...past the tents through the muddy street....through the portico...up the stairs through security down the hallway of death to window 40....where I was first in line but early.

It was 8:30 and the women don’t come  on shift ‘til 9....

That is okay....I’m here first in line.... strategically this is exactly where I want to be.

Nine sharp...the woman walks up to the wicket...okay..she takes my passport....which is now going to be magically matched up to all the documents I submitted yesterday...and PRESTO .....I’ll have my passport with a visa in it...

The woman says come back in two hours.

The statue of the Prophet...Tahrir Square

Okay no problem....I take the long walk around to the gardens of the Egyptian museum. I don’t go in....you could be in this museum for a week and not see everything...I’m going to do it in a day...but not this day.

I go to a cafe and spend the next hour and a half reading “A Hundred Years of Solitude” .

But what I’m thinking is a need about “Two Hours of Fortitude” .......

It’s 11:30....back to my favourite building in the world....up the stairs ..through security..down the hallway of death....does this seem like “déjà vu” to you?

I arrive at my wicket.....bedlam...there are twenty people ahead of me trying to do the same thing I am...and no one is going anywhere anytime soon.

So I stand there and wait for my chances...wiggle push....sidestep...drawing ever closer to my goal.....the wicket...then.... I’m there.

The woman says it’s not ready....come back...I turn and look behind me...a multitude...and I just thought no way...I’m waiting right here.

I could go on with this forever...I was almost in a fight....I told a guy to get f--------.

But I held my ground....right there in front of the wicket...where every time the woman looked up she saw me.

Finally a miracle....a Dutch woman was standing beside me...and poked me in the arm and pointed down to a stack of papers.....there was my visa application.... you could see my picture and my passport.

I pointed it out to the clerk...and said that’s me....that’s me...just give it to me and you’ll never see me again....

She gave me the stuff....I had to borrow a pen from and Egyptian guy....because I was wedged in there so tightly I could not move my hands down to my pocket to get at my pen.

I signed ...I turned...and there were all the young people that Dana had brought in the day before...all waiting to do what I had just done. They had been trying to get my attention to say hi....I said hi..thanks.... good luck...and as I walked out of the throng..with my visa in my hand...I yelled as loudly as I could.....”Welcome to Egypt”.

I’m not lying!

Talk soon....b

Visas Las Cairos (part 1)

When I was in Canada got my visitor's visa from the Egyptian embassy.....I should have sensed something was up. I called the consulate in Toronto
inquiring about a visa....and the guy manning the desk there did not want to have anything to do with me....I mean nothing.
So I just hung up and called the Egyptian embassy in Montreal...and got a nice sounding middle aged Egyptian woman who was way more sympathetic to my needs...
She told me what to do....print off an application form from the internet.... fill it out...and send it to her in Montreal...with a couple of passport photos and and 27 bucks in a money order...(the bank charges you 7 dollars for a money order...pricks).
So I took a whole day out from my busy schedule and got all of that stuff together...and when I got home I phoned the woman...and told her this is what I got...is that all I need? She said yes....I said I'm probably going to be travelling in and out of her country several times when I'm there...she said "oh...for that you need a multi-entry visa....that is and extra five dollars". I said look.... every time I go to the bank for a money order it costs me a lot of money....she said ``that`s okay just slip an extra five dollar bill in the envelope``. Oh.. I see... okay...
Suffice it to say....I got my visa in about two and half weeks....life is good.

However the visa only lasts for three months...and I’m going to be here for four....the woman says that’s no problem you can get it extended when you’re over there...just go to the Interior Ministry...it’s easy..I smelled a rat.

Interior ministry building Tahrir Square Cairo
Fast forward now....I`ve been in Egypt for a couple of months...I just got back from a little run to Cyprus....and thought I should get the visa extention process moving forward. .

 Luckily for me....I have a friend who I used to work with years ago at CTV who lives in Cairo. (see previous blog)
Her husband is a major in the Canadian air force....and he`s in charge of some kind of airbase out in the Sinai.
That`s along way away....so he stays out there and she keeps an apartment for them in Cairo. She e-mailed me and said that she and her 20 year old son Walker.....were going to the Interior Ministry in a couple of days to get their visa`s renewed...and she had some instructions from a friend about how to do it..... would I like to come along.....I responded.....Oh yes... please for sure.

Dana is spiritual,smart, resourceful and a hardy traveller....she`s good to have on your side.

So we made plans to meet about 9 am in Tahrir Square.....yes Tahrir Square. Where most of the rioting is.

 The metro train drops you off there...at Sadat station...and the Interior Ministry is a two minute walk away. So I had to get out of my nice warm bed at 7 am to catch the metro....not far from the apartment. It`s winter here...and it gets nice and cool when the sun goes down....so it was very cool outside and unbelievably it had RAINED!!!!

It rains about an inch a year in Cairo...and we got about a quarter inch of that overnite....so it was wet AND cold.

Onto the Metro train with thousands of other Guys...(women have separate cars) it`s a twenty five minute ride...in a crowded metro car stinking...fetid..coughing,, sneazing.....not my way to start the day. I get there and the square still has protestors hanging about ...but most have gone home..so at least I`m not taking my life in my hands to get this done. Dana tracks me down...and she's got about eight young people in tow....they're  volunteering here from many different countries and come in under the care and nurturing of Dana`s church .

They also have to get visa extended...poor bastards!  She`s happy...smiling....and says  "àre ya ready``.  Off we go.  Across the square through the bedraggled tent area by all the sidewalk vendors setting up for the day.

The Interior Ministry buidling is early seventies in construction....never been painted or maintained and is a big...dark ..forbidding building. The security guard asks to check your bag when you go through the portico.....

From the sunlight into......darkness...and mayhem. It`s like a set from the movie made about George Orwells novel `1984`` 

There are many hundreds of people running and milling about trying to figure out what they`re doing and where they`re supposed go.

But ....Dana thank Providence....knows where to go ...`follow me``! Up a round sweeping circular stair case packed with people going up and down....more security...an electronic detector for bags...and a body scanner  ....when you walk though the scanner all kinds of bells and whistles go off.....but nobody cares....the security guys just sit there talking and drinking tea...

I picked up my bag......down a long corridor... more people..... some of them are workers....scurrying purposefully along the corridor with a huge stack of forms in their arms going somewhere I guess...to do something I suppose....Allah knows what.

 Dana marches us to the end of a hall with a wall on one side and glass wickets with offices on the other side.....the glass wickets are where we`ll do our business..... In the offices behind the wickets.....chaos..... abosolute and utter .There are many many middle aged Egyptian women working back there....they do the grunt work....there are quite a number of men too...not nearly as many...they`re supervising.

There are stacks and stacks and stacks and bloody stacks of forms in manilla folders there....some have been there for years....decades perhaps....on desks..... piled in cupboards ...on the floor...folders... many thousands of them. I saw what the women were trying to do and it became obvious ...they have NO computers...none....I find out later there are none in the whole building...there are no word processors either...everything is written out in long hand.....in the midst of it all you have boys with arms full of these manilla folders.... running back and forth between offices.....the woman take the folders and process them....
Get the idea about how things operate here?.

We come to the end of the hall..Dana is all over it...she says you pick up your paperwork at window 38....then you fill out the forms.....then you have to go to window 43.....pay 13 Egyptian pounds and pickup some official looking government stamps then take it all back to widnow 38 for the women to process ...then come back tomorrow to window 40 with your passport and pick it up.

Okay...if that`s what you gotta do...then that`s what you gotta do...I go to window 38 and are confronted by two grumpy middle aged women who are a obviously overwhelmed with their work and their life and  are barely civil.... but I do get my forms and quickly fill it all out....get my my stamps (the kid at the stamp counter asked for bakshessh...a bribe) and triumphantly.....I'm back in front of the grumpy old women in record time.

I'm thinking...man I've got this nailed....oh but not so fast....shuffle shuffle shuffle....the grumpiest of the old grumpy women says.... "you must have a passport photo"..I say "it's right in there with my stamps and everything else"..shuffle shuffle....she says "you must have a photo copy of your passport" ..shit I thought ....no one told me about that....Okay I say "where can I get that done".....she says "downstairs"  ..."where downstairs".."just downstairs".

Down along the hallway of death I go....run into Dana..she says where are you going?....I say I have a problem...she says well of course you do....I say I need a photo copy of my passport....bless her heart she knows where to go. Down the staircase around to the right.....and there is a very small room with a battered old photo copying machine...and three developmentally handicapped young men sitting around it......I thought oh my God what next????
One of them flings out an arm and points around the corner....I go around the corner...and my heart sank....there are about twenty guys with all kinds of documents crowded against a counter of a tiny little room with two young girls in it...in a frenzy making photo copies.

Now things here would go so much better....if people just stood in line waiting their turn...but for better or worse Egyptians have never developed that orderly habit....so what you have is a mass of guys pushing and shoving...trying to get their documents into the hands of one of these girls. So I get right in there and because I'm a little taller I'm able to reach over the heads of about four guys in front of me....a little hand comes up and takes my passport....30 seconds later the hand comes back with my passport....and in the same motion I give her a one pound coin....and I have my photo copy...Back up the stair case through security down the hallway of death...Dana standing in her own line sees me and yells good luck!!

Back in front of the harridans at wicket 38.....they're not pleased to see me back so fast....I say here's my photocopy.....shuffle shuffle shuffle...she says you also need a photocopy of your visa!!!!

 What the F-----!!!!

Why didn't you tell me this the first time I went down there...she says "I’m telling you now" I say "there's thirty guys waiting to get photocopies" ..."she says you can wait too". Back.....back.....BACK down the hallway of death I go past Dana and Walker in their line...."what now" she says....I say another problem....I need another photo copy...she says of course you do..have fun.

Down the staircase around the corner...by this time I've got it down....reach over everyone get my photo copy...and back up ....window 38...now they're really not happy with me. Here's my stuff....shuffle shuffle shuffle....where's your passport photo...it's in there....shuffle shuffle shuffle...there it is... where's your stamps....they're in there....shuffle shuffle shuffle...there they are.....

She  grudgingly  says "okay" come back tomorrow morning with your passport for your visa extention....

I'm in the mix!!!!

I go back down the hallway of death...and it has become just that....in my time away hundreds have people have come into the corridors of this beaurocratic mayhem..there is jostling and pushing and shoving everyone trying to get to the wickets where harried women are shuffling papers and passports and documents.....

Heated arguing breaks out several wickets down...it picks up into a crescendo of men yelling...then stops...the tension is thick in the air.

Dana and Walker  have done their business... I've done mine...she says let's get out of here..

Next..picking up my visa

. 

Garbage City...and the Church of the Caves

Dana and me in the Church of the Caves


....and Garbage City.













Cairo is a city of  20 million people....and they of course generate a lot of garbage. Much of it you see on the street....but I find now there's a reason for that. Historically there have been  a class of people called the ``Zebaline``.....living in the city whose sole purpose in life has been to act as garbage collectors....if you leave it outiside your door and the dogs and cats don`t tear into first...the Zebaline come by and pick it up. This is all done free of charge...,you don't have to pay nor does the city...the Zebaline then take this garbage back to the place where they live....you guessed it..."Garbage City".
But there is an issue..the new post revolution Muslim Brotherhood government...sold the rights to pick-up the garbage to a Brazilian firm...who in turn hire the lowest of the low in this society...to go around and pick up garbage and sweep the streets....problem is these people have very little skill and a no real   reason to work for the miserable pay they get....so they DON"t pick up the garbage....oh they make a good show of it and push it around here and there...and they run around with garbage barrel carts on wheels that are generally empty and the junk...paper... plastic bottles ...dead cats...you name it stays on the streets.

Scenes from garbage city..
It's a mess and a shame...because historically the Zebaline did this for nothing....they can still collect garbage but there isn't as much of it now that the Brazillians are in charge...and so their profit margins are cut so that the miserable existence they've had for years is threatened.
Anyway...my friend Dana who used to work with me at CTV and her son Walker live in the area where garbage city is...and told Kim and I to grab a cab and come there and she'd take us to Garbage City.
Which we did....it`s a long cab ride out there...but still only cost about three bucks Canadian....Dana met us at the fountain (which dosen`t work of course) in the centre of her town with a cab that she has used before ( the last time she was in it they ran over dog) ¸so Kim and I hop in and off we go on the short drive to Garbage City where the Zebaline live and breath and breed and eat and sleep and dream of a better life I imagine. When you come down off the high plateau into the city...which is basically in the desert ....the first thing you notice is the smell...you don`t just notice it...it blasts you....off the main road in through a dust blown city street...and there you are Dante`s Infero of garbage hell. Garbage in huge bags stacked thirty feet high...trucks filled with car parts plastic bottles .....tin cans ....the bones of slaughtered beasts.... BUT amidst all this there is a working city....thousands of lives are going on. Cafes restaurants little food stalls...grocery stores barber shops clothing stores....people live here for God`s sake!
Looking through door ways as the cab navigated the narrow garbage clogged streets you can see men women and children sorting though these huge bags of garbage...one pile for cans..... one for plastic... one for rags....one for rotting food...which they in turn sell to local Coptic (Christian) pig farmers for their pigs.
Everything is cut up and reprocessed and sold back to industries who made it in the first place....the Chinese send boats over to buy what ever the Zabaline can give them. It looks horrible...but it`s the most efficient system of re-processing I`ve ever seen....and it costs nothing...the Zebaline actually make a living doing this...a living that is now threatened by the  foreign company the just takes the junk and dumps it in the desert....
It`s unbelivable...a whole city of garbage.

Walker Dana and Kim with some new friends at "Church of the Caves"
A secondary tour of the day was the Church of the Caves....you have to drive though Garbage City to get to the Church of the Caves....these churches date back thousands of years when the Muslim`s didn`t like Christians very much....(like what has changed!)...and the Christians wanted to worship...so the cut their churches.... caverns in solid rock walls making huge caves...in which they made amphetheatres with seating and everything....and they did it all in secret....the Muslims never twigged what was going on up there in them hills....must have been dumb bastards even then....today there are two huge church caves that the Christians can use and are quite the tourist attraction....
They were only discovered in 1972 and took at least twenty years to clean them out and make them serviceable again....

Wall carvings at Church of the Caves

So we toured the churches...and went out to get a cab...and of course there was none...that meant we had to walk down off the mountain and INTO and through Garbage City....it isn`t dangerous or anything but you really have to watch where you step...and the STINK is catastrophic....you can just imagine...overwhelming.....we managed to find a cab in the middle of a garbage inifested street and got the hell out of Dodge....and dodged more hell...we came back to the apt and threw our clothes into the washing machine....

It was truly the only ``Garbage`` day I`ve had in Egypt so far....talk soon...b