"Gringo Traps" Et Al

Some of you have heard me in the past refer to the "Gringo Traps" in Mexico.
To elaborate.... we start with a little history of the word "Gringo"...there are many explanations about how this description of caucasians in Mexico came about...but this is the one I like the best.
Back in the 1890's many cowboys would make their way across the border into Mexico looking for work or a good time. A popular song of the time was "Green Grow the Violets" and many of these cowboys would sing the song around the campfire or in a cantina relaxing with a Senorita and cerveca. The Mexican people got so used to hearing the cowboys sing the song...they started referring to them as...."green-grows" as in Green Grow the Violets....and as the years went by "green-grow" was shortened to just "Gringo". So now all white visitors to Mexico are referred to as "Gringos" especially amongst the Gringos.

Now the "Gringo Trap" is essentially one of the many of the little and large things that Gringos can run into resulting in very likely injury and most assuredly pain!

Now the biggest Gringo Trap in Mexico is more often than not the Gringo him or herself! They are quite often dull witted to begin with and when an unfortunate incident occurs they are quite often under the influence of either or booze and drugs. So this makes it much easier to say fall ....down on the uneven side walk..... trip over a piece of re-bar that just happens to be sticking up....run into a street sign that the Mexicans cleverly install at Gringo head level. There also knee high walls...steps that end suddenly for absolutely no reason and loads of broken glass to step on.

Okay....that's Mexico....here in Cairo...and all of Egypt actually....the situation is a hundred times worse..... if it can be imagined..

I almost never put my foot down until I look first to see what's there...loose bricks on the side walk are the worst or  side walks that  disappear into a pile of sand and broken debris. I was talking to one of the teachers at the Cairo American College and she was right at that time recovering from a broken bone in her foot...I asked her what happened and she said I took my eye off the sidewalk for one second and kicked a hunk of cement....the injury wasn't really serious luckily for her. Perhaps the biggest potential for injury is the traffic...because the sidewalks are so bad....depending what road you're on you're forced off the sidewalk onto the street which are very narrow and clogged with parked cars that means you have to walk between the parked cars and

the chaotic traffic....your head has to be on a swivel turning three hundred and sixty degrees watching where trouble might come from...

It reminds me of bringing the sail boat into harbour in Dover on week-end when all of the drunken power boaters are coming home from Pottohawk...you just never know what might happen.

And the traffic circles....I have to laugh when I think about the issue new traffic circles are causing back home....at the TV station we did reports with no end about how to deal with these bloody new fangled roundabouts...they've been here for a hundred years...and the Egyptians have only one way to deal with them..... attack! There's one intersection that you have to navigate when walking or taking a cab to the school...or the drinking club...it's called "Victoria Medan" I call it ``Victoria Mayhem``....the only way to get into it seems.... is to just drive right in cutting everyone else off...and when you're in ....employ the same method to get out...it's unbelievable that there isn't a crash every second....you have to do the same thing when you walk through it....just step in and hold your breath hoping people will stop....it comes down to a test of wills...you kind of have to lock eyes with a driver and the make a tacit agreement that'll he'll stop...slow down or veer around you....it is VERY nerve wracking..

All the while you  hear ...car horns...car horns.... car horns...like 24 hours a day...here`s why. Egyptians always seem to be in a hurry and can not tolerate for ONE SECOND anyone stopping in front of them or cutting them off....the automatic reaction to this is hand on horn and press long and loud!

Also....the regular intersections  have no stop signs...what drivers do is beep their horn before they enter ...hoping that will signal  other drivers of their intention...it seems to work...but Jesus is it dangerous...especially for motorcylists who I must say  live a charmed life around here...

Gringo traps....watch out for the donkey shit....the dead cats...and rotting fruit and vegetables....this latest issue with garbage in the streets I think is an out come of the revolution..the old government at least made a half hearted effort to get the garbage out of the city...the new religious regime obviously dosen't adhere to the tenant that ``cleanliness is next to Godliness``...I leave you now with the dulcet tones of the Mullah in the Mosque half a block away from the apartment urging the faithful to prayer through the big loud speaker located in the very top of the minaret...he`s been going for an hour now ...oh to be a `Gringo`` in Cairo....